LIFE - Mac. Style

Days of Our Lives is on. It's 11:42pm. Tuesday is almost over leaving 2 more wake-ups before the kids are off school for summer break! Hubby too. 7 weeks of high school sports and family! NO SCHOOL!! I am quite pleased. It has been a busy busy school year. I'm looking forward unusually to next year. Ethan will be in 6th grade. His last year of elementary school. Never to return again. And Abby will be in 3rd grade. Weird! More crazy is the fact that I haven't blogged in over a year. I definitely had to get going again. There is no efficient way to get all this down and share with everyone. Texting is impossible. I can never remember who I sent an email to and who I have not. So, I have passed on this blog and hope it keeps those we hold dear to our lives up to date on this most INCREDIBLE journey we call our LIFE!

Most of you know the Applegate Macalaguim's are officially Foster Parents. We had our 1st placement just last week and he was a 5 day old Angel! The most perfect little one with no one to take him home. I will go into more about him another day. BECAUSE... we have been called on our 2nd placement! This week took forever to get through. First, just dealing with the fact that we only had our "Baby Boy" for 48 hours. That was new and a feeling we all worked hard at trying to grasp. By the weekend we were all good. I was just so ready for a baby again. A foster baby mind you. Erwin had to reassure me on a daily basis that Sara, our Angel's Social Worker, didn't lose our phone number. He has been so amazing through this. I loved watching him be "Baby Boy's" Dad and seeing Ab and E watch him intently. Very Cool. I digress... I was exhausted today after waking up at 4 with a horrible headache. Had to eat and then take an Excedrin, wake up a few hours later and get the kiddos to school. Thank Goodness they behaved and it helps that when I pull up a bit late, my neighbor-friend Eva is there taking a very long time to shut the gate just so my kids get in without being "late". Another "Angel" who makes my life easier! I slept a big chunk of today. Felt good. Ran some errands, picked up the kids, came home to find Erwin home early. Woo Woo! As I was continuing chores, I hear the phone ring, Ethan yells,"It's Sara!" I looked at him and made the snide remark, "No it's not! Are you serious or are you lying?" LOL...nope, I didn't accuse him of joking - just straight out lying! It was her! I always try to act like I haven't been sitting on the phone waiting for her call. As if she believes me. They got a call and have a baby girl in need of a home. She is looking to be discharged on Thursday from the hospital and was born on the 22nd. She is officially 1 week old. BioMom and BioDad already want to give up their parental rights and be done with her. I can't imagine coming to that conclusion after just a few days, yet at all. Sara informs me this is not the first time for BioMom. She has other children who have been given up and adopted. Again, I shake my head in disbelief. Partly, because I have only heard stories on TV like this. Partly because I'm not sure how long it will take me to accept the fact that God has chosen me and my family to be these Angel's loved ones. I get the blessing of being this little ones Momma. Wow...

"Baby Boy" was a happy and healthy kiddo. "Baby Girl" isn't as much. From what we know she is already on a few different medications to fight off issues given to her by her BioMom. She has been given a rough start but we plan on making it a little more comfortable for her in the coming days or months. No, we don't know how long she will bless us with her presence. Most likely longer than "Baby Boy". I know nothing else other than I will hear from the County Placement Worker tomorrow sometime and then hopefully get to visit her in the NICU just about 2 miles from the house or at least talk to her nurse about how she is doing. So, I wait. Good thing is tomorrow is FULL of stuff to do. Dishes, Laundry, end of year Teacher gifts to make, tagging for Trunk Treasures, helping set up for Trunk Treasures, vacuum seal fruit I just bought, just the basics. Hoping that will keep me busy and make tomorrow fly by so may pick her up on Thursday. I'm in awe of this road we have been lead down. I love what we are doing as a family. I love that we are doing it as a family. I am so fulfilled by each and every conversation we have about Fostering. Crazy it took 8 years to figure out this is where I am supposed to be. It feels so good. So, please check back often and subscribe if you can. That way you will get an email whenever I update. It's gonna be exciting I know that for sure. My definition of 'exciting' might be a little fuzzy tho. It's a good fuzzy!! Night Night - :)Amy

When to throw in the towel

Over and over I am hit with the thought, "Is now the time?" Is now the time to give in? Is now the time I stop believing it will ever change? Is now the time to say it all and not regret a word? Is now the time to end it? Is now the time to say "you are crazy Amy! You can never give up!" Hell if I should know. You would think after asking myself that question for years that I would have the answer or at least be a bit closer to it. When do you stop believing? When I ask that question in my head of course, I always hear others respond "never stop believing!" And then I think how stupid that is. Of course we don't stop believing that one day a dream can come true. But what if every day for many many MANY years someone walks in your door and says directly to you that "IT IS NOT EVER HAPPENING"! Isn't there a time you can look back at that person and say ok, next dream. I might be at that point. Such the Pollyanna I am. Really, I have had many people refer to me as such. Not bad. I actually like it. Only problem being that it makes for a long, exhausting ride home. Ive taken that road home so many times, one wonders how I or anyone else can continue to refer to me as Pollyanna. Ive also been the type of person who truly feels that what I don't know won't hurt me. Although, it seems that once I find it out, I'm floored. I'm flattened. All the air is sucked right from me. Being naive is kind of a trait I have mastered while really in the know. Naive or being in denial? Same thing or totally different? I have asked this question numerous times, too many to obviously count. Why me? hahaha. I know a lot of people have. But someone always answers to me, a real person really answers when I ask them this, because that's just who you are. I keep going back for more, why? Because that's just who you are. You don't just give up and walk away. When do I stop? When does anyone stop? Maybe you stop but you don't close the door all the way? No, Ive tried that before. Doesn't work. You can't do something almost all the way. You gotta turn right or left. You can't turn the wheel kinda left and a little right or SMACK! right into the building on the corner. And we all know how much I hate a car accident.

Here I am at 130 in the morning full knowing I have to go to a dr appt at 845am. I sit in a little bit of discomfort since I have a kidney stone chillin' in my right kidney. Yep, chillin. I need to take my meds and be comfortable in my bed so I can get to my appt tomorrow. 3 stones in 5 months. Can you beat that? lol. I ask as if someone will answer. I keep believing as if something will change. Should I even try to type the words 'move on'. Nothing will change and I am not the only one in the entire world who has fought so hard that they have nothing left to give! Not even a ratty old white flag to wave! It's gone. It's all gone. And I think it's almost ok. I will not wither away. I will not be any less than I was 4 days ago, or 4 years ago. I am more. I am truthful and I am stronger because of it. That fight, that strength is now going to rebuild itself to be used another day for something that will change. Something that will benefit me. Something I believe will make me into the woman, mother, wife, friend that I was always meant to be but was never sure enough that I could be. I'm 35 and tomorrow is another day. That I believe...

Friday Night -- Yee Haw!

I am so tired after this crazy long week. Got back from Brentwood, in the hills that is, on Monday evening. I had a sore throat and felt like I had a good cold. Tuesday woke up and said heck no I won't go...and either are the kids! I honestly coulnd't even think about putting shoes on with my pajamas, barking morning orders and driving the kids to school. So, we all got some much needed sleep and rest. Remind me to never take a late flight in on a school night. Kids can handle it, but mamma can not! I never got out of bed on Tuesday. The cold hit me like a tons of bricks. The angel's were shining down and guided my kids down the perfect behavior path. They came when I called them. They got me water. They asked when they wanted to eat or watch TV. Why do I have to be sick for all this to happen? Wednesday was a recovery day for me to get back to normal and the kids to get to school and then catch up on homework. Thursday the weather took center stage. 80 and up and the air conditioning came on! Thank goodness we have air! Our neighbors just got theirs installed today. Im super happy for them and feel like celebrating too! I don't know what we ever did without it. Well, I do know. We walked around with almost nothing on and sweat like pigs. Sleeping was a nightmare back then. And sheets were all we used with every window open throughout the whole house. Open at night and close them in the morning. No mas! Im looking forward to having only one planned event this weekend. And it is not even for us. But is it ever really? I am sleeping in tomorrow. Hopefully Er will be home from volleyball practice before I wake up. Then a little bow making and bday present shopping. Nothing else mandatory I tell you! Nothing. Then there is Sunday. Then there will be 5 more wake-ups till Spring Break. Oh ya baby! School is off and so is Mom!

Rules

Time for bed for sure but I think about this every time I think about typing in a note. "When did I do my last entry? Is it too soon to write another one. No, I need to just wait till tomorrow." What the??? Their are no rules and 'Single Dad Laughing' just reminded me of that as I read his daily entry. Just write.

Today Abby and I went and got our nails done. Well, I got my fill and she got her manicure that she has been begging for since her 6th birthday I think. No, she had to have gone their at least once last year. Anyway, she loves Ms. Kendra. My nail lady/therapist. This activity is a very special one for Abby and strictly reserved for only special occasions. Her and I are headed north on Friday to attend my nephew and Godson's Baptism. He is my first Godchild and I am so blessed to have been asked by Jared and Deana. What a great feeling...mostly. Kind of makes me a bit old. Even older than me saying that I only have 4 1/2 years till I am 40. Well, wait. that looks weird that I just typed it. Either way, I can't wait to hold mi amor and love him and hug him and kiss him and squeeze him and name him George! That is from Bugs Bunny cartoons of yesteryear. hahaha. With Marvin Martian I think too. I will also get to see my other nephews which I cannot get enough of. I digress, Abby and I sat next to each other while we got our nails done and for a moment, she was 15. And we were spending some quality time chatting and relaxing without the boys. (I dropped off Ethan at the gym with Dad.) I think the nail salon will be the one place where I can be her friend. She can talk to me like I am her best friend. Tell me about the cutest boy in her class and not feel like Dad or her brother will walk around the corner and hear her secrets. We can drool over the cutest guys on TV and not seem foolish or uncool. Then, she suddenly asks for 2 more quarters for more skillets. (I'm not going to erase that because I said it while we were at the salon too... SKITTLES...not skillets.LOL) Hi, she is 7 again. Just like that. "Can we go to Subway?" Me: No. "Can we go to McDonald's?" Me: No. Back to reality. 7 years later people still tell her everyday that she is bee-utiful. Two people in my presence today. I think the biggest part is not her hair color or her skin tone, it's her light inside her soul. She shines it so bright that everyone can see it radiate through her eyes. She is fearless and strong and confident in who she is. She dances like no one is watching. What a gift I have in her.

Now, let's pray for a great trip up north. Let's pray for a calm, joyful Baptismal celebration and 1st Birthday for Zack. Mostly for D & J. Pray for well behaving mothers and fathers and in-laws! I'm tired and the Excedrin took away my oncoming headache. Time for bed. Looking forward to a shower tomorrow. lol...yep, a shower. This week has been one thing after another so very little time to take a shower. A moment in the life of a Work At Home Mom! Fun times I tell you.

Good Night...

Start # 453

This blog has been so many things. A place for me to vent. A place for me to empty my mind. A place to journal important and not so important events in our life. Today I read a blog I had read before. It is a mom who lost her husband 6 weeks ago to cancer. Now she is here raising her two kids and herself. No way...I can't do this alone. How she continues every day is a mystery to me. I have always told people, sarcastically of course, that I will never get a divorce or leave my husband because I am selfish and don't want to do all this alone. Honestly, I can't do it alone. Especially after having done it with him for almost 17 years! Half of my life! I couldn't imagine having to figure out the bbq outside. It would never be used again. I couldn't imagine having to take the car to Chuck's to get whatever failed fixed. That is his job. Not ever meant to be mine. I'm comfortable here in my world of this will never happen to me so I will stop worrying about it. Cozy.

Today, the kids looked a bit older as I took them to school in the 50* weather and pouring rain. My stomach was killing me and I just asked for silence while we waited in the long line of cars dropping off their kids. I am so glad that my kids allow me to drop them off at the curb. Goodness I am GLAD!I haven't had many tummy aches in the morning lately. Maybe that's a good thing. No, I know that's a good thing. Maybe it's a sign of long term improvement. That would be nice. I digress, the kids kept quiet but a few times I caught them whispering to each other. Much nicer than Abby leaning as far over her booster seat to try and reach Ethan on the other side of the car in hopes of smacking him or pulling his shirt. Those moments of sibling love are unmeasurable!

A long list of to-do's today. Ribbon store, ballet, Ethan to the dentist, scheduling appts for all of us including Ruby-girl, and definitely a nap. Which by the way will be happening sooner than I thought today. I am wiped!

Would love to keep this blog going. We all know I have lots on my mind. When do I not???

Night

Instead of me thinking about it and thinking about it, I am just going to start typing. Still stops me every time. Thinking. All I do is think about things and rarely do I ever act on those thought. Probably because I start thinking about something else right when I start to act on the thoughts.

This weekend was good I think. lol. Saturday and Sunday I woke up super early and went back to bed after some cereal and a load of laundry. I slept in but up before it was crazy late. The Macalaguim's spent the whole weekend together which is highly unusual. Now that the school gym is up and running, it will become a thing of the past. Girl's Volleyball is upon us. But for now, the weekend we just had was really nice. Kids did their Popping Class Saturday afternoon. Ethan is still in love with it. And does GREAT! Abby is not so into it. She has to stay in the same spot for an hour. Nope, not going to happen. Not when she hears music and is in a class of 20+ other kids. That's a party foul in Abby-World! She'll switch to Jazz in September. Then after some lunch we took Ruby to the dog park and watched her greet all the humans! Such a baby, i tell you.

Ethan had a sleepover at his BFF's house but I got the call at 1030pm to come pick him up. He was "homesick". I was glad in a weird way that I got to pick him up. Made me feel like a loving and all protecting mommy for the 9 yr old who barely gives me an "adios" when we get our of the car at school each day.

Sunday was even better. Slept in, woke up to my 49ers playing. My loving husband recorded it for me, since I never get to watch my football down south. We won! Yahoo! Kids laugh at me getting so excited, screaming, jumping off the couch at interceptions! I LOVE IT! After that I did my weed pulling that I have been wanting to do for months. Just never acted on the thought. I know I am going to be sore tomorrow. No going back upstairs for me. Kids were outside for hours while i was doing that. We visited with our neighbors and the kids all rode their bikes and scooters and played with dirt. We love our neighbors! That is probably 75% of the reason we have never moved. We just couldn't have asked for better neighbors. Really....it's awesome! At one time there were 6 kids in front of my house from ages 2 to 9. And 3 babies in tummies!! (not mine) lol.

We went and got some Rite-Aid ice cream. Nothing beats Chocolate Malted Crunch. Ethan would argue that LemonHead ice cream does. He loves it so much, he paid for his 2nd scoop with his own money! He is a lover of ice cream like his dad!

Home after that, painted some Abby fingernails -- Made some hairbows -- ate a super late BBQ dinner and enjoyed some Ninja Warrior and SYTYCD as a family. Now, I am putting my thoughts here so I can get to bed and sleep more than 4 hours. Monday's are NUTS. And like I said earlier ...Volleyball is here and I am now a Coach's wife. Kind of like a Navy wife except he comes home every night. Late, but home!

I do love my family. Now, I just have to pray pray pray that Erwin will agree to expand it! lol...

Till next time...Night!

Be Good

Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.
-John Wesley