6 HOURS!!

Oh yes! All caps baby!! 6 HOURS!!! Baby Girl gave us 6 hours of FABULOUS sleep! I had to take a double look at the clock when I woke up this morning. I couldn't believe she hadn't woken up and the light was already shining in the window. I even checked the cooler to see if there were 2 bottles in there. Maybe Er was SuperDad and changed her and fed her without me knowing. Nope. Baby Girl slept! So cool! Crossing fingers for tomorrow night.

Er and I are headed out tonight. We were invited to one of Er's first Eastlake students weddings. This one is a great story that I can't wait to hear more of. Boy and Girl go to same highschool and end up having same Math teacher, different classes. Boy is your less than average student and Girl is your above average student. Both run in completely opposite crowds. Cut to a few years after graduation, Boy meets up with Girl and the rest is history. They will marry and have changed each others lives, continuing to be complete opposites. Funny thing is they didn't realize till making the guest list that Mr. Mac was both of their favorite teacher. Both held a special place for him their lives for making a huge difference in how they viewed their future. Now Er and I get to share this awesome day. It will be hard leaving Baby Girl, but she is left in capable hands with a more recent former student. One of our "daughters" that we have watched grow into this amazing young lady! She is truly the only one we are having fingerprinted to assist us in this amazing Fostering experience. She has been just as excited as we have about having these Angel Babies as part of the family. 

Time for a nap and then errands with Abby.
:)Amy

1 month old

I can't believe we have been a family of 5 for 3 weeks already. It sounds so little but it feels like it's been forever. Maybe that is the lack of sleep. lol... Baby Girl is doing great! Dr.'s have given her a clean bill of health for now. Waiting for some test results as usual. Many nurses were in and out of the room ooo'ing and ahh'ing at this little miracle baby. The people at this office were just unbelievably nice and super sweet! The Dr's were crazy attentive and answered every question with ease and confidence. I wish I could do the same. Dr. M asked my full name and I smoothly said, "Amy Rochel Bernwanger." WAAIIITTT!! lol... "No, No... my name is Amy Macalaguim! My Dad is in the waiting room and his name is Bernwanger. Gosh, I've been married for 13 years! I can't believe I did that!" I actually can since the night before my sleep was but a few hours. It was pretty funny!

Baby Girl is officially 1 month old! Er and I decided since we never really know when she will be leaving us, we will make sure we celebrate her monthly birthdays. The kids were excited too! They made sure to clarify a few times that day..." Baby Girl can't eat ANY cake right?!"

Baby Girl is 6lbs 15oz. Abby and Ethan are still the best big sister and big brother EVER! Ethan was awesome this afternoon. I needed to change my clothes and Dad and Abby ran some errands. He didn't hesitate to hang out with Baby Girl for a few minutes. He is pretty funny too. I know any day he will make this little angel laugh!

Baby Girl, Abby, Amy, Ethan, Erwin & Ruby too are all doing good heading into our 4th week of Summer Break! I need a little more sleep tho. Maybe a good nap is headed my way tomorrow. Fingers and Toes crossed!!
:)Amy

Back at the Farm...

We are ending our 2nd week of summer break. Still 5 weeks left, which is good. We got out to the Chula Vista Nature Center this week. Erwin and my first time. The kids have done summer camps here and gone on multiple field trips. It was a great couple of hours. They had an amazing display of trash found in the waters off our coast. It's CRAZY!! I just thought for how long people have been aware of the littering in the waters and the effects it has on our eco-system that there would be some dent in the waste found out there. I was dead wrong. One of the facts we read was "1 out of 6" plastic water bottles are recycled. REALLY? People come on! There are recycling containers everywhere. There are more of those receptacles than there are mailboxes! The center had some sculptures built out of the trash found. It's super cool and super sad. People need to wake the heck up and pick up after themselves!!

We all got there just in time to see the sharks fed and the Bald Eagle, Franklin, be fed too. I had to turn away since Franklin's lunch of choice happen to be baby chicks. Yep... yellow fluffy ones. BLAH! It was pretty cool to see an eagle that close.

 Next week we hope to be able to do something else out of the house. lol... We do have a few appointments with Angela. Attorneys and Doctors. New experiences for her and I. Ones that will get us a few more steps closer to her permanent home. This little Angel is going to make a family so so happy.
Night Night!  :)Amy

Teeny Tiny...

Baby Girl's Feetsy and Daddy's Hand.

Her entire foot is no bigger than Er's thumb. :)

Baby Girl in her first dress, chillin' in her Boppy.

Going Back a Few Months

For seven years I have been asking for another baby. I wanted to be a Mom again and wanted to watch Erwin be a new daddy again. When the subject came up, Abby would get so excited about the possibility of becoming a big sister. The feeling I had was strong. It was a feeling I couldn't explain. I just knew I wasn't done being a Mom. I mean, when I think about it, 4 months ago everyone thought I was a nut! My kids could fix themselves breakfast while I slept a little later. Both were in school all day giving me my time to work and set my own schedule. Topping those two reasons was the fact that both of my babies were born and sent to the NICU. I had never left the hospital with a newborn baby. Why would I want to do that again? I had no idea why but it was a sure thing for me. I wanted to have another baby. Only one thing in my way. My lovely husband did not want another baby. There was no convincing or compromising. A big block in our marriage would be an under statement. As much as I knew I wanted a baby, he knew he did not.

The final conversation came in February and I backed down. My marriage is and always has been the most important thing to me. Again, another horribly hard moment since my feelings were just as strong then as they ever were. With the help of a few friends, I began the tough job of learning to let go.

Maybe a week or 2 later I read a post on a Mommy FB page. It was in regards to a company called Angel's Foster Family Network. It said they were in need of Southbay families to become Foster parents.

...Baby Alarm...
To be cont...
:)Amy

Hurry

I have to hurry cuz she is squirming and I remembered I should do this. Baby Girl is doing awesome. Her poop isn't green anymore but we had to use the booger getter today. Ya, she wasn't happy! I realized the "I told you" 's started really early. After I completed the booger-getting, and she was breathing through her nose without any bubbles or mucus in the way, I promptly stated, "See! I told you it would help!" Just making sure she knew I was right.

So, the Detention Hearing happened this week. Looking forward to finding our exactly what that means for Baby Girl and us. I believe it's where they officially start the process of the parents and services or  no services. Gotta look that up. Either way, it's still looking like we will have our little Angel Baby for a few months. I can't believe it has only been 1 week. We are far beyond attached to this sweetie.  We are at the point of only Daddy and Mommy being able to calm her down. Feels so good. She is getting cuter and cuter everyday. Her forever family is going to fall in  love with her as  fast as we did. The question came up about 3 times this past week from friends, my S.W. and family. Will you guys  be adopting her? And I swear I don't even have a tiny feeling of wanting too. It's not that I don't love her as if she was and could be my own. Because since the day I brought her home, she has been my daughter. It's more of, I don't know how to explain it. We are loving her and taking care of her till her God chooses her Forever Family. God has chosen us to be her family for now. There are so many people out there who really want to raise a child. They are going to love her and help her grow into the woman she is meant to be.  When that happens, we will be super-bummed. We talked about it last night. Boy we will need the prayers then. The piece that keeps are heads up is when we think of the fact that we will be able to love another baby or little one again and again and again! This is what God has called on us for and we are so up for the challenge.

Speaking of Abby and Ethan, they are doing awesome. No jealousy, no resentment of extra chores.... just straight love and understanding for their baby sister! They are so good with her. Week one of summer vacation has ended and we hope to fill in some days with the Zoo and the Nature Center next week. Maybe some pool?!

See ya! She is getting louder...  :)Amy

3 hours is not enough...

3 hours, 4 hours.... It doesn't matter, it's just not enough time to get back on track for the rest of the day. And if I don't nap when Baby Girl naps, I am so done at the end of the day. Thank God Thank God Thank God for Erwin! Seriously, without me asking or begging or even crying, he is getting up in the middle of the night at the slightest peep for Baby Girl's feedings. If he misses one, he's bummed. This isn't new, he did this with both kids. Well, he would change the diaper then give them to me for nursing. This time around he gets to do it all. Today was the first time we think the spoiling, with kisses, hugs and more hugs is setting in. Each time Erwin would go to put her in her little bed for a nap she would start to cry. Looks like Er's "pillow" hasn't lost it's affect. It's just warmer and cozier with it's own snoring... I mean vibration setting.

Yesterday was the 1st Dr's appt of many for our sweet sweet girl. Clean bill of health for now. And all I have to say is this Dr went above and beyond to help me with my 1st Foster Child Dr appt. The paperwork is stacked high. The questions seem never ending. The details are ever so important now, since they will all be looked at with a magnifying glass in court. But I was prepared. I prepared for Baby Girl that is. I completely forgot to pack drinks and snacks for me. 3 1/2 hours in a tiny little room was a long time. Especially without breakfast and a few hours of sleep. So, thankful my SW is funny and available for texting. We chatted back and forth for awhile as I waited patiently for the next set of questions and answers. Next week will be Children's Hosp. tests and then some developmental therapy. Might seem like a lot, but I am excited to learn about all this stuff that is going to make Baby Girl the best she can be, even if she is only 15 days old.

I should be in bed, but I always have a little need for a snack after waking with her. Instead of eating a banana and a wafer cookie and watching TV, I just thought I would eat and blog. More productive I think. AHHHH - A freakin' flying thing just flew at my screen. Really? I'm thinking moth but Damn Gina! Can a girl just type in the dark without being bugged?!?! HA...ya, 3 hours is not enough...

NIGHT NIGHT!  :)Amy

A Sweet Miracle -- A Child

I got the call at 9:30 this morning and I missed it. Today started off with my Dr's appt at 8:30am and then home to pick up Abby so her and I could hang up Trunk Treasures signs around Eastlake. I am so grateful to the hospital Social Worker for leaving me a message that our Baby Girl can be picked up at 5pm! Yay for having time to work at Trunk Treasures and Yay for not having to wait another night to pick her up!!

After Abby and I hung up some signs we went to Trunk Treasures and picked up the new Pack n Play for $60 and a gently used stroller for $15. I got those in the truck and we headed back to the house!

White baby laundry is folded and I put the pink baby laundry in the dryer. I then spoke with the S.W. and I was given instructions to pick up meds for Baby Girl before I picked her up.  Then paperwork at Angel's and I have to work at T.T. too? How am I going to even attempt this? Erwin got off work early! Summer break is here. He and Ethan stepped up and drove to Children's Hospital to pick up the meds and even stopped by Angels for the paperwork and some newborn necessities! SuperDad to the rescue. Abby and I worked at T.T. and of course in the last 5 minutes I let myself pick out 3 super cute outfits for our sweet little one. What Mom could resist a 3 piece outfit from Gymboree for $4?? Oh ya!! 3 outfits for $10! Time to pick her up.

Earlier in between some of this craziness I had to drive to Baby Girl's hospital to pick up the written prescription. It had been a little over 11 yrs. since I had been to this NICU. Last time, I was wheeled in a few hours after my emergency C-section to see my son for the first time. HE was hooked up to all the machines and tubes. I didn't get to hold him for 6 days. Today, it was kind of surreal walking past all the machines looking for my new Baby Girl. There she was laying contently wrapped up like a burrito. I got to take a peek and chat with a nurse for awhile getting a few tidbits of how she was brought into the world. Gave me a little insight on BioMom. But I had to go and continue my day. So when Erwin and I walked in at 445pm with a diaper bag and blanket in hand I felt like this was all good and rolling just as it should.

I took over her feeding as the nurse got a few things ready for us. Her nose plunger, her hospital tags, bottles, etc. Baby Girl is a strong little miracle! She has overcome 5 serious setbacks given to her at birth. Score is Baby Girl 4 - BioMom 1. This sweet thing has so much black hair! My babies were baldies so it's throwing me for a loop but nothing a bee-utiful headband can't fix. ;) She is teeny tiny! Weighs a little over 6lbs now. 10 days old. The nurses love her and have said she is a very "content" sweetheart. I think she is no bigger than a football. Not the Nerf kind -  NFL of course. She has had her last course of antibiotics and has been given her meds to conquer the final setback. We put her into a cute pink pajama set that her Big Brother Ethan picked out. Bundled her up and walked out.

I'm staring at her right now. She is wiggly but has been sleeping since her last feeding at 915pm. It's incredible. She's a squeaker when she moves and has only cried as I changed her diaper due to her bad rash. Penicillin sucks. I get to show her off tomorrow. And begin convincing myself that I am her Momma. Feels so good. Good to be her main source of LOVE, her PROTECTOR, her Momma. I am blessed to have found this. This is my calling. This is what I have been waiting for. To be doing it with my husband and the kids is a Sweet Miracle in itself.

Bottle prep time and then off to bed. Hoping to get her feeding at 1230, 330 and 7. That will give me enough time to get Abby to dance and keep her sleeping throughout soccer sign ups afterwards. lol...

Night Night - Amy :)

Almost Time...

It's Friday morning at 49 minutes past midnight. I'm fried! No nap today. But  must blog about the latest happenings. Spoke with the hospital social worker today. Could have kicked myself when I checked my messages this morning. I didn't realize they had called on Wednesday! If I don't know the phone number I don't usually answer it. I have to change that behavior asap. On my defense, the phone number started out with the same three digits that the Chula Vista School Districts did. I definitely ignore those since I get an email notice too. Either way, the S.W. laughed at my delay. All is good. There seemed to be no huge concerns with Baby Girl. She was on her antibiotics and another important medication. She will have many tests continuously and they will be done at UCSD Hillcrest. That is where we picked up our Baby Boy, so I am familiar with the parking and such now. Easy cheesy! Doctors are going to do their rounds in the morning and then I will receive a call from the S.W. to let me know if she will be discharged tomorrow or Saturday! Gosh, I hope it's tomorrow. I'm an anxious Mama-to-be.

On a positive note, I worked at Trunk Treasures www.trunktreasures.net today after picking up the kids from their last day of school. From 2pm to 630pm. And I found a $15 EvenFlo stroller which runs about $149 in the stores. I found a new Pack-n-Play for $60 which runs about $199 in the stores. AND I found a Petunia Picklebottom Diaper Bag for $20! I guess the style I got is usually $150. I found these all at 6:20pm. lol... I let Er know of the two biggies and he was in agreement. We will save a lot of money. Both are in neutral green and brown colors which is awesome too! I can;t wait to pick it all up in the morning after a Dr's appt for myself. Exciting! We have Baby Girl's coming home outfit. Ethan picked out a cute pajama onesie with pink cow feet. Abby picked out some pajamas for her too. Erwin washed the bottles for me. And we got the bins of Abby's baby clothes down so I can wash some pink frilly stuff for her. Oh, I just got the chills after typing that. I am going to switch a load of white and beige things to the dryer before I sleep.  We bought a few for Baby Boy that we are going to keep as staples for our future Angel Babies. Others were Ethan's we took out to share.

I was going to sign off when I looked to my right and saw Baby Girl's first brand new toy. A super cute Vulli Giraffe Auntie Dee bought for us. FUN!! So off to bed I go to dream about the days ahead. We shall be busy tomorrow with or without Baby Girl. I'm, just praying a little harder it's WITH.

Night Night -
:)Amy