My Family Moments: Is it "Good-Bye Day" for us already?

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Is it "Good-Bye Day" for us already?

Right before Bio-Mom went into her current half-way house the powers that be were trying to decide where she was going to be spending her judge ordered recovery time. There were options in La Mesa, North County and somewhere else in San Diego. Not much of the discussion was had in front of me. Remember I don't get a vote. When she is in a facility I will need to drive "Little Man" once or twice a week for his visit. Same would go for North County, even if it's an hour away. Or so I thought. I immediately called my Angel's worker and was very worried that I would have to do that. No way could I handle that drive with my other kids busy lives too. But I don't want to say I can't because maybe they will take him from us. Word is County may transfer his case if North County is the plausible option for Bio-Mom. He would get a North County SW and a North County Foster Family.

There was only 2 weeks till she got out of Juvenile Hall - I was freakin' out. We were not done playing with him, watching him grow and lovin' on him. I was glued to my phone at all times. Dreading any calls from any one of importance.

It got down to 3 days before she got out and I still had heard nothing. It was killing me. I know we never really know when he is going to go but he's not supposed to go to another home unless the case is leading to adoption. Ughhh... the waiting game is the hardest part I swear.

A day after she was to be released I got a call and they are NOT moving her to North County. The facility was full with a waiting list. Phew!! We dodged that one.

Fast Forward to visit #2 with Bio-Mom in her current location. We were having our normal talk about the baby and things she felt I needed to know about her scattered past like her biological Dad's house being raided for drugs 3 days after she stopped staying there at 8 months pregnant. She brought up the other facilities and I felt I needed to let her know how I was selfishly glad she didn't go to North County where she had wanted to be. She didn't know that if she was placed there, her son would most likely have been taken from me and put into another home. She was very surprised and said,"Well, did you tell them you didn't want that?" I reminded her that I have no control over what happens with "Little Man". I have no say in the matter. I am just his caregiver. She actually made me feel good -- not sure how many times I'll be able to say that during our Angel journeys. She told me she would have been so upset!! It looks and feels like we are on the same team...for now.

;)Amy

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"Foster Family" Terminology

SW: Social Worker = This is a professionally trained (at times I feel from a YouTube video) individual who works for any County or private organization. My foster baby will have a SW and I will have a SW who is also known as a CCW. (see below)

CCW: Clinical Case Worker = This is a professionally trained individual, also known as a Social Worker who works for Angel’s Foster Family Network. They are assigned to a maximum of 12 families at one time and lead them through the fostering system. They are our right hand gal. (no males as of yet) This person does all the legal pushing and pulling on our behalf so we can focus solely on loving and caring for our foster babies. I would not and will not ever do my job as a foster mom without these people.

Supervised Visit = The bioparent has rights to see their child no matter the circumstances. Most often the visits begin as 1 to 2 hours, 1 to 2 times a week. An adult that is approved must watch the parent with the child at all times. (sometimes a lot of work and sometimes boring as heck)

Unsupervised Visit = The bioparent has rights to see their child no matter the circumstances before. If they are improving their situation then they will eventually get the right to have visits without supervision. The foster parent must drop off the child at an approved location and pick them up later. Most often the visit is for 2-6 hours 1 to 2 times a week. And these will only increase in length as the situation improves. (super hard for the foster parent to move to this step)

Foster Baby/Child = A child that has been removed from their biological family due to many different reasons affecting the welfare of the child. They are then placed in protective custody under the County and State.