My Family Moments: Where have you been all my life?

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Where have you been all my life?

I thought I would address the extensive time lapse in between posts. So much went on from the end of July through September 4th. I honestly couldn't think of writing any of it down. All I had were emotions. No words. Just emotions. I'll try my best to catch you up...

So, we found Baby Daddy and he started to have visits with "Little Man". And he also helped to delay the court process for BioMom. Frustrated doesn't even begin to describe those emotions. How could anyone who was supposedly putting the child's well-being first, let this go on and on and on, delaying the inevitable for "Little Man" which is leaving the only family he knows. Then at some point in August I'm told that if I were to say that I'm going to adopt him that the count would stop pursuing BM and BD and place him with us. WHUUUT?!?! Well, there ya go. The solution is clear. We adopt him to keep him from this lifestyle that can only lead to a challenging childhood for him. Right? Uh.... Wrong!! That would be the only reason we would adopt him. Let me reiterate that he is our son. He will always be my son and I will always be his Momma. But as a parent, love is not enough. And I have know this from the start that we are not looking to grow our family permanently. And I need to remind myself that if we did adopt we would be done fostering. 3 kids is a lot. I can't imagine 4, 5 or 6 kids. My friends and cousins that have these large bee-utiful families are my heroes.

(Back to my "Little Man".) Hopefully, everyone that reads this knows or has heard of someone who grew up in a not so great neighborhood with a not so great family or even no family at all, but turned out to be a successful adult. That is what I am going to have to be comfortable with every night when I go to sleep.

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"Foster Family" Terminology

SW: Social Worker = This is a professionally trained (at times I feel from a YouTube video) individual who works for any County or private organization. My foster baby will have a SW and I will have a SW who is also known as a CCW. (see below)

CCW: Clinical Case Worker = This is a professionally trained individual, also known as a Social Worker who works for Angel’s Foster Family Network. They are assigned to a maximum of 12 families at one time and lead them through the fostering system. They are our right hand gal. (no males as of yet) This person does all the legal pushing and pulling on our behalf so we can focus solely on loving and caring for our foster babies. I would not and will not ever do my job as a foster mom without these people.

Supervised Visit = The bioparent has rights to see their child no matter the circumstances. Most often the visits begin as 1 to 2 hours, 1 to 2 times a week. An adult that is approved must watch the parent with the child at all times. (sometimes a lot of work and sometimes boring as heck)

Unsupervised Visit = The bioparent has rights to see their child no matter the circumstances before. If they are improving their situation then they will eventually get the right to have visits without supervision. The foster parent must drop off the child at an approved location and pick them up later. Most often the visit is for 2-6 hours 1 to 2 times a week. And these will only increase in length as the situation improves. (super hard for the foster parent to move to this step)

Foster Baby/Child = A child that has been removed from their biological family due to many different reasons affecting the welfare of the child. They are then placed in protective custody under the County and State.