Okay…. We are going back to where I left off months ago. Saying Goodbye to our 3rd Angel Baby…
We ate our pancakes. “Little Man” felt much better. Who
doesn’t feel better with pancakes? I made plans with BioMom to meet up at the
trolley station where we normally did drop offs and pick-ups. That decision was
harder than I expected it to be. I felt
this to be the best place because it was in public. That meant I couldn’t be a crying fool till I
got in the car. It’s a place people don’t hang out for hours. There would be no
expectations to stay a little longer.
And especially for “Little Man”, it was a regular drop off place. He was
familiar with it. He expected Mommy to be there. He expected me to say goodbye.
He expected to go home with her.
Erwin picked us up along with the rest of his belongings. I
had packed up most of it in the days prior. There was so much. He was spoiled
by us and the rest of our family. I wanted to make sure his things were with
him so he felt more comfortable being away from me. I had also saved things since the day he came
to us. His coming home outfit, his first
Christmas outfit, his Christmas stocking, his Easter basket, etc. I made sure to save all the gifts his Mommy
and other family members had given him too. Needless to say there were about 3
boxes and quite a few grocery bags for BioMom to take home. BioMom was in the parking lot waiting for us with a friend
who drives. This way she could take his things easier.Erwin unpacked our car and packed up hers. I don't think he made much eye contact with her. I gave her some information about the things I packed for him. Bags she could hold off going through and ones she needs to open immediately. Then it was time for me to hand over "Little Man". The last time I would be in this position with him. I looked him in the eyes and told him I loved him so much. I think I said it till he started to get irritated with me. It makes me giggle to this day. I told him I would see him later and to have fun with Mommy. I watched him as he hugged Erwin and got into his carseat in the other car. I turned to his BioMom and she had tears in her eyes. That was not going to make things any easier for me. This girl has only cried two other times in these 22 months. They are always real tears. I told her to wipe her tears an knock that 'bleep' off! She laughed. I told her in a very strong tone that she needs to do right by this baby boy. That she is going to make mistakes but its ok. If those mistakes are bigger than she can handle then she needs to call me. I will be there for "Little Man". But I made her promise me to call me. It's ok to call me. I reminded her that I didn't want him to be sent back into the system or the local children's center. Call me! She promised me. We hugged. We cried. We said Goodbye.
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