Self-Affirmation

I am feeling good therefore I am good! I worked today for me. I worked today for someone else. I was present for my family!

I am feeling good!

Big Thoughts

Something that i ate must have brought on these big thoughts that have been racking my brain tonight. First I decide to get on the web to research a disease one of my dear friends son has...the nick name is Brittle Bone Disease. The real name is Osteogenesis Imperfecta. which I didn't know till tonight. This wonderful 10 yr old boy has had this disorder since birth and has broken every bone I could think of not being medically minded. He is one of my son's bestest friends and has taught my children lessons of strength, compassion, understanding and patience at levels Erwin and I could never have taught them. I sit and listen to his mom explain his situation over and over. Not a flinch, not a blink of eye, her and her husband do it with class and dignity. Again a level of strength and patience I know few people possess. I found one Google description that led me to the Foundation. I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of what I know but I'm excited to learn.

Ok so that was big thought #1. Then Er and I were watching Private Practice tonight and one of the stories was about a family who had their oldest child with Autism. They were under the impression vaccines were the cause. with this in mind they refused to have their other two younger siblings vaccinated. In turn, the middle child contracted Measles and was doing horribly. In TV world on his way to passing. The mom still wouldn't give her youngest child the vaccination. Even after the entire Dr office had to lock their doors and not let anyone in or out due to the seriousness of this disease. Right as the sick child needed to be intibated, the Dr chose to ignore the mother and vaccinate the other child in fear that they too would contract the disease. So, I don't know the statistics....yet. But at this point in time. I know for a FACT that if I had to choose between having a child with Autism vs. watching my child die of a horrible disease and not having them in my arms ever again, 10 times out of 10 I would choose HAVING A CHILD with Autism. Now, having said that, I am lucky enough to have one of my best friends of 25 yrs be a teacher of children with Autism. This is her specialty, this is her life. And for some lame unknown, I'm sure very explainable, reason we have never had the conversation about Autism and vaccines. Plus, a friend who just had a baby was trying to go the healthy route and was researching the no vaccines before she had the baby. I cant wait to talk to her and see what she found out. I can't wait to learn.

What the heck did I eat? Seriously? Taco Salad. Some Reese's peanut butter cups. I'll keep you posted though!

Night All!
p.s. Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas is done

Hi...it's done. My favorite holiday is already over and I swear we just bought our tree. My house just got straightened up since before Thanksgiving yesterday. My dad and david came over to celebrate xmas with us and the kids and we had to clean. I mean clean. Put things where they belonged and put as little stuff as possible into the "someone is coming over hurry and clean" box. I think every one has done this at one time or another. It's a must when you have a family. Or at least that's what I tell myself.

Kids were completely spoiled this year. Feeling a little overwhelmed by it. There really are so many more people without, it makes me take inventory a little. Er says not to worry that our kids are getting so much. That we have great kids and they deserve it. I know they are great but still. So, today through hopefully only one or two days later I am cleaning the kids rooms and having them get rid of some of the things they don't play with anymore. We usually do this around Thanksgiving but we weren't home this year.

So, Im signing off with the hopes of being on here tomorrow or tonight. I love it when I do this but it seems like such a chore after a long day. Ill figure it out someday right?

:)

More children

I want another baby. To most of the people included in my life this is not news. If I think down the road that we have decided to have another baby, I get so excited. I can't wait to find out the sex, plan their wardrobe and just being pregnant. Then in that very same moment, Erwin and I start to bicker or not soon after we are arguing about how to raise Ethan and Abby. And here I am about 10 hours later wondering what the heck am I thinking wanting another baby? Er and I bicker most of the time when it comes to the kids and making the right decision for them. I just start to feel selfish and guilty when it comes to me thinking about raising another child when we can't even agree on how to raise the two we already have. I am seriously torn. And I really have no idea how Erwin feels. I know, start there right? I just don't think it's fair to be mad at something he said to the kids then in the next breathe try to convince him to have another baby. lol... what a mess.

Is it the father's job to push the kids to reach their goals and maximize their abilities and then the mother's job is to catch them when they fall short or can't handle it? Maybe if I figure this out, the parenting dilemmas between Er and I might fall into place. "Might" being the key word!

Night Night!

p.s. Just thinking of baby names puts a smile on my face. ;)

Back in the swing of things...

Ethan had his first week back to school. And I was a horrible mom 3 out of the 4 days this week since I gave him a granola bar for breakfast while we ran to the car to get him to school late. It was so hard this week to get back into it. Thank goodness he is so easy going and has been completely okay with being dropped off at the curb. He is so grown up. Or just really good at dealing with his overworked mom! LOL!
A really disturbing thing has happened in Ethan's world this week. On Monday or Tuesday another mom from his class let me know that a friend of his is in the ICU fighting for her life. Little 7 yr old  has been diagnosed with Lupus and as of Tuesday had complete Kidney Failure. I was sick to my stomach when I heard this news. She is 7 yrs old and the chills are back on my arms just typing it. I cant imagine what her mom and dad are going through. I haven't heard anything since then so as I remember everyday I try to say a little prayer for her and her family.
So Abby said a cute thing the other day. Now most people know that she is going to be a star of some sort, well maybe just I k now that, but above anything Abby LOVES to dance. She has been moving since she could sit. Knowing you would have to know that Dancing with the Stars is one of her most favorite shows. As we were driving somewhere this week she says," Mom...when I grow up can I be on Dancing with the Stars? And can I dance with Daddy? 'Cause I love to dance!" I told her "Yes!" She is going to dance or sing or act in any job she ends up in. And I can't wait to watch! I don't think Ive heard of a dancing, singing Zoo Keeper...have you?

Another week...

Here we go another weekend gone, another week on the horizon. It's already packed with things to do. But I did make a little change. I added a few fun things for the kids and I to do. Tomorrow we will have a play date with Ethan's Kinder teacher who I have become really good friends with. She has a 4 1/2 yr old and an 8 months old. I have told Ethan she has been practicing her English a lot since he is kind of confused how I can talk to her so well. (he thinks she only speaks Spanish, since that is the way it is at school) Then we are headed to the Balboa Park museums on Tuesday since they are free on that day. Wednesday I am free for the afternoon which will be nice. Thursday, I have joined a Meet-Up group for Chula Vista Moms. They set up all these different play dates all over Chula Vista and south San Diego to give moms and kids things to do. I am surprising the kids with Pump It Up. They have been dying to go and since I screwed up royally a few weeks back, I owe it to them. Plus, it's $6 for one kids and $4 for a 2nd. Perfect! They will be so excited to jump around like monkeys for an hour and a half. And Friday we have an afternoon Birthday Party at a pool. Tuesday and Thursday we have a Volleyball games to attend to support Erwin's Varsity and V girls starting their season. I think Wednesday night we may do a "team bonding" dinner. A house full of teenage girls. Poor Erwin!

We went Saturday to watch 'Beverly Hills Chihuahua'. so good! Perfect for kids. And of course Abby was LOVING it! LOVED IT! She is too funny!

What a day!

I can't believe I did today what I did today. I started "Zumba". I guess it's a Latin aerobics type thing. Anyway, I just had my first class today with some of my best girls. I Marangued, Salsa'd, Cumbia'd, and 4 other dances. I haven't sweat this much since I don't know when. Definitely not in San Diego. It was crazy! I am going to be swearing my friend up and down tomorrow morning. I already know this. I will be going next week though. Too cool!

And then I had a meeting with a new boss. A friend who has started his own business has asked for my help and I have accepted. I will be his Executive Assistant and loving it. I will have my hands back in the corporate business world all the while staying at home with my family, working for Lee and running my passion with CM! I am stoked. I already have 4 emails from this new job and I just started about 2 hours ago. It's a good thing! Craziness is my specialty! Now I am going to catch up on some brain-numbing Days and some frozen yogurt. Then off to bed.