Sunday, July 13, 2014

Help for me... What?

    One of the neat programs that is available for foster families and biological families to help with visitation are stand alone visitation centers.  They are located all over the county.  Most non-foster people don't even know they are there. These places are available for visits with the families so you can be in a neutral location that feels a bit safer and more open, than say the park that someone was just stabbed at last night. (not an exaggeration - just another day in the life of me) The foster parent can do the supervising or with permission from the CSW, you can schedule a worker there to supervise. Another great piece is they actually have transport workers who will come and pick up the foster child wherever you are.  They will then take the child to the visit and supervise if necessary and return the child afterwards.  I have been asking for this for a long time.  I have been NEEDING this for longer. I finally got it! Help with BioDad's visits. Now I am down to dropping off and picking up "Little Man" for BioMom's visits only.  Phew or so I thought.


    The car pulled up on time to pick up "Little Man" as she instructed me last week.  Good start. I had been trying to get him to be excited to see his BioDad but he didn't seem to catch on today.  The transport worker looked so familiar.  We figured out she had picked up another Angel's baby from a Momma's group that I attend weekly.  She recognized me too. Very comforting. I explained that I noted some things for BioDad and it was in "Little Man's" backpack. Yes, I went overboard and wrote some notes on a 3x5 card. Stuff like when he woke up and if he had eaten and new words he has been babbling. After that, I handed him to her and asked what I was supposed to do next.  She instructed me to stay in the house and she would be back after the visit. I closed the door almost all the way after blowing kisses to a very confused 20 month old face. I could hear the worker speaking to him. She had a toy in the car for him. She told him they are going to have a fun little drive, and they were going to visit his BioDad. (she used his nickname but I'm going to keep that private) Then they drove away.


    BLAH! My stomach started grumbling and I truly felt like I was going to puke. I just let a stranger (sort of) drive away with my son. Only once have I had someone else take "Little Man" to a visit for me. I think he was 3 months old and I was sick as a dog. I have always been the one supervising and driving.  It seems this "help" comes with new emotions I wasn't expecting.

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