My Family Moments: Selfish I Am

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Selfish I Am

The days "Little Man" comes home from a 6hr visit with his BioMom are truly the days from H-E-double hockey sticks. He won't let me leave the room without crying. He is exhausted so he stumbles around and falls more frequently than a normal 1yr old learning to walk. If a toy falls from his hands or when he does fall, he stays right where he is and throws a crying fit. Saying "No" is definitely going to bring on a hand-slamming, screaming fit. He eventually will take at least a 3hr nap and stay up late. These days are very similar to Sunday evenings. The night used to be the night before his first visit of the week. When it was time to go to bed he would fight to no end to not fall asleep. When he would finally give in to his heavy eyelids, he would no doubt wake up screaming at least 3 times during the night. Tonight was no different. Fortunately for "little Man" his visits have changed and he will be free of BioMom tomorrow. Unfortunately for "Little Man" he will now have 3 - 6hr visits each week. Oh boy this is going to get ugly.

As I typed the piece about what happens after "Little Man's" visit I stopped to think a minute. We always have thought this happens because he was with his BioMom who doesn't know the best ways to care for him. And he is just trying to let us know he has had a rough time without us, his family. How do we truly know this? It could be the other way around. He could be crying and fighting it all because I keep bringing him back to HIS MOM and then taking him away. Time and time again. Maybe we are being selfish saying he misses us. Maybe he really is missing his Mom. They always say a child knows the connection to family.

Ughh... I am probably just fishing for some other reason to make it easier for me to drop him off for these crazy long visits, which happens to not be long enough for BioMom to really understand the work and energy that goes into caring for a 1yr old. Especially when she has friends to come over and help her. You know, friends that are older and have lived on their own before and not to mention, waiting for their own child to be released from the courts. What's better? Friends to help or be all alone? I just don't know.

;)Amy

1 comment:

M&N said...: Big sigh!; Wednesday, January 08, 2014

Post a Comment

"Foster Family" Terminology

SW: Social Worker = This is a professionally trained (at times I feel from a YouTube video) individual who works for any County or private organization. My foster baby will have a SW and I will have a SW who is also known as a CCW. (see below)

CCW: Clinical Case Worker = This is a professionally trained individual, also known as a Social Worker who works for Angel’s Foster Family Network. They are assigned to a maximum of 12 families at one time and lead them through the fostering system. They are our right hand gal. (no males as of yet) This person does all the legal pushing and pulling on our behalf so we can focus solely on loving and caring for our foster babies. I would not and will not ever do my job as a foster mom without these people.

Supervised Visit = The bioparent has rights to see their child no matter the circumstances. Most often the visits begin as 1 to 2 hours, 1 to 2 times a week. An adult that is approved must watch the parent with the child at all times. (sometimes a lot of work and sometimes boring as heck)

Unsupervised Visit = The bioparent has rights to see their child no matter the circumstances before. If they are improving their situation then they will eventually get the right to have visits without supervision. The foster parent must drop off the child at an approved location and pick them up later. Most often the visit is for 2-6 hours 1 to 2 times a week. And these will only increase in length as the situation improves. (super hard for the foster parent to move to this step)

Foster Baby/Child = A child that has been removed from their biological family due to many different reasons affecting the welfare of the child. They are then placed in protective custody under the County and State.