"I'm going to jail tomorrow" for some reason flowed right out of my mouth when I was asked of my plans for Wednesday. lol... Not sure why... Probably because I have never ever stepped foot in any sort of jail or prison facility nor have a I ever come close to doing so. Though, it was the truth and it stopped every person in their tracks when it was first heard. Those who knew me very well would be waiting for a punchline to the joke. Those who just knew me needed an explanation of some sort because they were really confused and shocked.
"Little Man" and I had to meet his social worker Kim at the Juvenile Hall facility at 2pm where we would visit with Bio-Mom and a few other adults for about an hour. I was nervous but I was also sooo ready. I haven't done any visits for the last two Angel Babies and I felt this was a big part of what we were trained for. I'm packed and I'm ready and I go and then wow! Reality SMACK in the face! There was Kim in the waiting room and another older lady. 60's or 70's. Before I could say hi to Kim, the lady asked if my baby was "Little Man"? I said yes and asked her who she was? It was Bio-Grandma. (a piece of the puzzle) She was also going to be in on the visit. We were escorted inside another room and waited for the door to close behind us. Then escorted into another room where we would find the conference room. I'll be honest, I thought I was going to see some cells or rooms in the distance but it's not like that. It's like a corporate office. Kim knocked on the door and entered to find a huge table, tons of chairs and an officer sitting in the corner very stern looking on a computer. She was obviously very busy and we weren't to interrupt. I was so glad that I had spoken to Bio-Mom's supervising officer on site prior to my visit. She is super nice and I felt very comfortable with her. She walked in with Bio-Mom. Bio-Mom looked exactly like she did when I saw her in the hospital minus the withdrawal symptoms and the tears. And instead of a hospital gown she was wearing a green t-shirt and blue pants that were both way to big for her and a pair of flip flops with socks. We exchanged hello's and I handed her "Little Man". The rest was me answering questions from the officer, the psychologist and Bio-Grandma. At least that was all that was happening while I watched a teenage prisoner hold, change and feed my baby.
"Little Man" and I left after the hour. Bio-Mom and I still on good terms. I asked Kim how I did. Did I say too much? Did I help too much? Should I have let her struggle with his clothes while trying to change his wiggly pudgy body? I did everything right in her eyes. So all was good. Only feeling I had and wasn't sure how to handle was me wanting to give him a bath right when we got home. It's a horrible thought. I wanted to wash off her kisses and touches from my baby boy. His Daddy and I are the only ones who are allowed to nuzzle in those cheeks and suck on those fingers. (she didn't do that but ya know what I mean) Needless to say, there was no bath, some wipes, but no bath and I held him for the rest of the day!
:)Amy
